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The voices in your head

Recently I was at a hoity-toity author tea where all the authors were encouraged to wear hats, just for fun. An author friend of mine, who came to the event hatless, complimented my rather extravagant, feathered hat and then said, "I wanted to wear a hat, but I don't look good in hats. Once when I was wearing a hat, my mother said I looked like a rabbit under a cabbage leaf."

I laughed politely and then studied her. She's an attractive woman with delicate, classic features and beautiful shoulder-length blond hair. I pictured her with a hat and I said, with total confidence, "You would look beautiful in a hat." But she shook her head adamantly. Her mother had made one careless, not very sensitive, and totally inaccurate comment when she was young, and that voice is forever with her. That has become her truth. I don't look good in hats.

What do the voices in your head say? What harmful "truths" about yourself are you carrying around? Maybe they're not true at all.

When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about yourself, stop and ask yourself where you got that idea. Whose voice is in your head, saying it? Your mother or father? A teacher? An ex-spouse? A member of the clergy? Ask yourself when you started to believe this about yourself. Was there a specific incident that led you to believe this "truth"?

Chances are, it's not true at all. Or even if it's a little bit true--even if you did once trip over your own two feet--it doesn't mean you're forever, irrevocably clumsy. Even if you made a bad grade in one math class, it doesn't mean you're bad at math.

Don't let those voices in your head--some of them decades old--rule your life today.

Truthfully,
Kara

Sorry for the long absence!

But I'm working hot and heavy on two books at one time. I've let a lot of things--mostly run-of-the-mill responsibilities--get in the way of finishing my thriller, and I finally decided I needed to buckle down and finish the darn thing. It's been way too long.

So I guess that's my lesson for today. If you let other responsibilties take priority, your dream gets put on the back burner. Don't let it be expendable. Make it a priority. Give it time every day, even if it's only a few minutes. Don't wait until "someday."

I've blogged about this before, but it bears repeating--to myself, if not to you all!

Single-mindedly,
Kara

Treasure Map

Since I touched on visualization yesterday, I thought today I would talk about one of the most useful tools for picturing your goals, dreams and desires: a treasure map. Basically it's a piece of posterboard onto which you glue pictures and words that represent your dreams.

Mine is pictured here. It's a little bit hard to see, but on it I have a photo of myself and my husband in the middle, to remind me of what's really important--my loved ones. Then each quadrant of the board is related to some aspect of my life. In the upper left I have the New York Times Best Seller list mock-up I mentioned with my book title and my name in the #1 spot, plus a mock-up of the actual book cover. (Okay, I stole a Nora Roberts cover and doctored it up a bit.) I also have some words, like, "What would you do with $20,000?" and a couple of nice pens and a dragon (because the book I was writing at the time was about a dragon). In the upper right hand corner I have pictures of beautiful food and groups of friends socializing, because I want to be a really accomplished cook and to entertain my friends. The lower right has pictures of what I'd like my home to look like, and the lower left represents travel, health (there's a bikini-clad girl in there, a beach, people riding bikes, and women in pretty clothes. There's also some cool jewelry and a Jaguar.)

I put this on the wall near my desk where I see it daily. It was a lot of fun to put it together, and it gives me pleasure every time I look at it. Since then, many of the things I included have come to me, particularly the travel, home improvements, and cooking. Others I'm still expecting!

So give yourself a treat and make your own treasure map. You can update it as often as you want. The important thing is that it makes you feel positive and optimistic about the changes coming into your life.

Visually,
Kara

Law of Attraction Made Easy

I've heard a lot of people try to explain the Law of Attraction, and sometimes it can get pretty confusing. But here is the cleanest, simplest explanation I've come across. Unfortunately I can't remember who came up with it originally; if you recognize it, please let me know where it came from so I can give proper credit.

The 5 steps:
1. Decide what you want.
This sounds simple, but a lot of people stumble through life, following the path of least resistance, without ever giving this matter any serious thought. Whether it's a new car, a new job or a new lover, figure out specifically what you would like brought into your life. You can experiment with small things at first, but don't be afraid to think big!

2. Visualize.
This has always been easy for me--I was one of those kids who used to get in trouble in school for "day-dreaming" and "wool gathering." But not everyone finds it easy to picture in their minds what they want. It helps to write down the qualities of the thing you want, or cut out pictures from magazines that represent the thing you want. If I want to sell a book, for example, I do a mock-up of the cover and use it as my computer wallpaper, where I'll see it often. I've also downloaded the New York Times Bestseller list, but I substituted my book and my name in the number one spot!

3. Emotionalize
This is probably THE most important step, and the one most people skip. You have to summon up how you would feel if you had that thing you desire. The Universe responds to emotions--your feelings are the fuel it uses to give you what you want. So it's important not to feel anxious or focus on the lack in your life. You'll only draw to yourself more anxiety, more lack. So pretend you already have what you desire, create inside yourself exactly how you would feel, and maintain that state of mind for as long and as often as you can. This takes practice, but it does get easier. Remember, it should be fun, not a chore.

4. Act
The trick is to take only inspired action. If your desire is for a new love in your life, you can help things along by getting out of the house and visiting places where you might meet someone, and letting your friends know you're open to meeting new people. If you want a new job, start polishing up your resume. But it's important not to pursue these activities in any sort of frantic way. Taking actions to bring about your desires should not feel heavy or like a struggle. When you're on the right track with your actions, you'll feel light and joyful. Be open to signs and signals from the Universe that might point you in the right direction.

5. Believe
The stronger your faith in this process, the faster your desires will come to you. I once heard it described like ordering something from a catalog. You put in your order for a new car, then you wait for it to arrive just as you would a book you ordered from Amazon. You don't know exactly when the package will show up on your front porch, but you don't fret about it. You simply expect it to arrive.

Decide, Visualize, Emotionalize, Act and Believe!

Emotionally,
Kara

Let your dreams come to you

I am just returned from the Big Island of Hawaii, a wonderful place for rest, play and rejuvenation. Because of the five-hour time difference I awoke before dawn every morning and did a series of yoga stretches. I actually did sun salutations as the sun rose and the first rays of warmth washed over the lanai--fabulous.

One of my hobbies is bird watching, and I still had several Hawaii birds to add to my list. So I set out one day for a patch of native forest at a high elevation, where some of Hawaii's rarest native birds can be found. As I hiked through the beautiful woods, I could hear exotic birds calling all around me. But they were elusive little critters. Each time I would hike toward an intriguing call, it would move farther away from me. Or I would catch movement from the corner of my eye, but when I turned or raised my binoculars, I couldn't see anything.

Frustrated, I sat on a fallen tree to rest. I sat very quietly, and after a few minutes, the birds came to me. Just sitting in that one spot I spied several green Hawaii Amakihi and red Apapane. The longer I sat, the closer they came. Then I heard a rustling behind me. Wary in case it was a wild pig, I turned slowly and there was a Kalij Pheasant not five feet from me. (These are not native to Hawaii, nor are they particularly rare, but they are exotic to me!) I sat and watched him for a long time, then finally thought to take a picture, but he was too far away by then. The picture here shows him as a smudge!

Sometimes the dreams we pursue are just as elusive as a rare bird. The harder we push, the farther away it seems our dream recedes. But often if you sit quietly, relax, and allow it to happen--just stop trying so hard--the dream will come to you.

I am a big believer in setting goals and taking action. But if you've been trying and trying, and it seems you're making no progress, try putting it out of your mind for a little while, relaxing, and focusing on something else. You might find your dream sitting right next to you.

Aloha,
Kara

Write them down

One of the problems with goals is, when we're in the process of goal setting, we're all fired up. But then we promptly forget them.

All of your goals need to be written down. I like to word my goal with "I intend ..." because an intention is stronger than a wish or a desire. So "I intend to submit TITLE OF BOOK by DATE" would be one of my goals. Every two weeks, I write my goals on an index card and post them right by my computer, where I can see them every day.

It really makes a difference. When I forget that step, things don't seem to get done.

So write down your goals and post them were you can see them.

The You-Can-Do-It Blog is taking a break for the next week. I'm heading off to Hawaii. But posts should resume 9/24. Hopefully my week of rest and rejuvenation will generate a whole bunch of new ideas for the blog.

Restfully,
Kara